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Fingerprinted

Fingerprinted
Stephen Pratt, a third grade teacher from Alpine, Utah, is fingerprinted for a gun carry permit during concealed weapons training for 200 Utah teachers Thursday, Dec. 27, 2012, in West Valley City, Utah. The Utah Shooting Sports Council offered six hours of training in handling concealed weapons in the latest effort to arm teachers to confront school assailants. (AP Photo/Rick Bowmer)

Category: Humor

Location: West Valley City, Utah

Coordinates: 00.00N 00.00W



   
Lessons From a Coyote

Lessons From a Coyote
California:

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks and kills his dog, then bites the Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie Bambi and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a coyote awareness program for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The security agent assigned to the Governor is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training in reference to the nature of coyotes.

9. PETA protests the relocation of the coyote and files a $5 million suit against the State.

TEXAS:

The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks him and his dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.